The Fifth Week: Revision Process

The reading titled, “Fifth Week: Revision Process”, thoroughly indicates and illustrates the importance of the revision process. Revision is the most important aspect in the writing process and without it, growth and progression are beyond the bounds of possibility. The author states that, “revision requires that you loosen your grip” (221). In other words, it is extremely helpful to take a step back, look at your essays, and review the structure of your writings. This will allow the writer to recognize those specific parts in their essays where they can improve and add more details or supportive evidence. This process of re-seeing is crucial. The author is clearly trying to inform the readers that in order to develop balance and clear sense of purpose, they must endure the difficult and repetitive process of revision.

The first step in revision is distinguishing your purpose. Without a purpose the readers are left with a frail sense of direction. In order to catch the audience and formally take a stance on a particular topic, the writer must identify and clarify your purpose as soon as possible. If the writer is unable to determine their purpose for writing then it is important that they develop their position precisely.

In addition to purpose, the thesis statement plays an active role in strengthening the entirety of an essay. The thesis statement reveals the writer's primary points. The thesis statement justifies the writer's purpose and it is important to take a personalized approach when developing this purpose . In other words, it is far more beneficial to add your own voice and personal characterization within an essay, rather that accounting for another person's thoughts or actions.

All throughout this reading, the author repetitively addressed the importance of revision and the significance of attacking the draft, literally. The author provides accommodating exercises, such as "dissecting the fish", "directing the reader's response", and "cut and paste revision", all of which were precious examples of revision. These exercises allow the writer to cut up their essays, see the holes in their previous drafts, and piece different paragraphs together, revealing a completely different composition.

With the semester closing in and the portfolio in close reach, it is safe to say that this reading is a perfect example of where I am at right now in the writing process; the revision process. This reading has helped me distinguish and strengthen my purpose for writing all throughout my Unit 2 and Unit 3 essays. With the help of the "cut and paste revision" exercise, I have acknowledged the importance of revision and how beneficial this process truly is. Being able to look at your own pieces of writing and see them in a completely different way allows room for growth and addition. With this in mind, I will be able to structure my Unit 2 and Unit 3 essays by strengthening my purpose/stance in a creative way and adding depth and voice all throughout each essay.

Reading Response 6: The Fifth Week

In regards to revising drafts for the portfolio, this paper really has a lot of good tips and information. It is able to guide a writer in every single step in perfecting the draft. At first, since I do not write a lot of essays, revision of a draft for me was just revising for language such as grammar, transitions and flow of the essay. However, this is not the case because it is about fortifying your thesis, purpose, facts, and basically how they are presented. The fifth week mentions a lot about purpose, which makes sense because that is where a paper begins and how you introduce or present that purpose is key in creating that bond or attraction between the essay and the reader. We write essays for other people to read it, therefore like what is mentioned in the fifth week, we need to re-see it in their view and not get too attached to it till it blinds you from all its mistakes. Another good point made in this essay, was controlling the information that is used because we do not want a paper to sound like a report. We need a proper balance of facts and our opinions to win the wrestling match as it is stated in the fifth week.
I really liked the tips of cut-and-paste revision, which pretty much helped me a lot in identifying my strong and weak points in my essay. I think the most important question that came out to me after reading the fifth week was, Why should my readers care about what I need to say? This basically helped me in making my draft into a stronger paper.

The Fifth Week

The Fifth Week essay was very effective on providing information on how to go about revising my papers for the portfolio. I like in the beginning of the Reading how it talks about when you trying to revise your paper it can be very difficult because your almost attached to your writing and it is hard to see past what you wrote and see the problems in your writing. Separating your writing into almost puzzle pieces so your writing is just all mixed around is what this reading suggests. This will help you be able to pull out the problems in your writing in order to make your writing smoother. I have never used this tool for revising but it really seems like a good way to go about revising. I myself finds it very difficult to revise just for the simple fact that I have already read through the piece so many times and did so many corrections that I don’t even want to think about the paper. Separating my paragraphs and trying to put them in different parts of my essay will definitely open my mind up to creating a stronger smoother essay.
I am also going to have another set of eyes from multiple sources like it subjects in this reading. I find that other peoples opinions really help with finding different problems with my essay. This allows a different view or angle that might give me new ideas to add to my Essays. The writing center will be a good source for me to start from when it comes to having a fresh set of eyes go over my paper so I plan to use them.

Unit 3b Op-Ed

Video game addiction, is it real? Is it a problem?

It was only about a month ago when I finally manage to have a firsthand experience in the video gaming culture. This new culture is highly popular in youths nowadays, because it is fun and everyone is doing it which basically makes it a norm. However, for those involved, does it produce a constant invisible threat to their well-being? In other words, does video game addiction exist to those who are susceptible to it? Easy answer, yes it does.

Majority of people are unaware to its existence, because I think it’s the kind of thing that you really have to experience it for yourself to really understand what it is all about. Thus, video game addiction is really hard to explain and since it is not officially recognize by the American Medical Association as a mental disorder, makes it far more dangerous than other addictions. Just like playing the slot machine, video game manufacturers has successfully found a way to encourage obsessive playing through a psychological mechanism known as “variable rate of reinforcement”. This is where fake or virtual rewards and achievements are given to players for completing something like a level or a mission. It is hard to believe but this actually feeds people’s need in their desire to complete one, two, three missions and it never stops because more missions just keep coming. For online video game such as World of Warcraft and Call of Duty, its either you are addicted to it or you don’t play it at all. It is hard to be in the middle due to the obsessive playing required to reach maximum level and get the best items which keeps on being added in every update.

So why should we care about this? Although the U.S. has not seen much of this addiction yet, it is a major concern in countries such as South Korea and China due to their fast broadband and easy access to video gaming. To make it worse, most of those involved in these are kids or youths, whom are the future of the country. It has been reported that at least three million South Koreans are addicted to video games and with the plan for a huge upgrade of the U.S. broadband by the FCC by 2020, this numbers could reach the U.S. and even surpass it very soon.

To those who don’t know this by now, youths or students these days are more vulnerable to video gaming addiction because of boredom and difficulty in socializing. However, for a student, video game addiction usually leads them to stop going to classes, running out of money, violence and sleep deprive. What's more, these video game addicts are usually the last one to notice that they are addicted to video gaming and when that happens, all is too late because by then, they already had been kicked out of school or having major health issues due to excessive gaming. Even worse, so far twelve deaths have been associated with video gaming addiction. Blood cloth has been known to develop from sitting for too long due to excessive gaming. Also, due to need of high concentration needed to play video games, it is common for video gamer addicts to lose track of time. Another story is when a baby dies of hunger because both young parents were too addicted to video games and forgot to feed their child.

Don’t get me wrong, there are benefits, but the harm that is caused by video gaming usually always outweighs it all the time. This is why video game is such a dangerous tool, when not controlled. Like everything, too much of anything is not good. Moderation is the key when it comes to playing video games. Therefore, the government, teachers, parents and the general public should take early precaution to prevent this problem before it comes to the U.S.

Reading Response 6: Politics and the English Language

In this reading by George Orwell, "Politics and the English Language", it clearly shows what he is implying to is that the English language has changed within the years and it has changed to the worst thanks to political writings. Writers has became more vague and inept towards getting to a point or basically explaining what they are trying to convey. Ready made phrases are used to make a sentence instead of using or creating phrases by themselves because this is more easier for the writers. Orwell calls this meaningless words because, by his standards these words are just long sentences going on and on about something without really going to the point and this abuse makes the English language look very bad. Also, by using for example Latin words gives an impression that the writer has class and elegance in his writing, which however backfires and does not explain what they are trying to say, this actually moves his focus further away from the target of the topic.

Metaphor in this reading is mentioned over and over again because these dying metaphors that are used has lost its meaning and the writers blindly use this metaphors to describe what they are trying to say instead of actually thinking and describing something they are trying to explain using their very own words. Which also shows how the writer does not know what he or she is talking about and further proves that he has not interest in writing about the topic. These are basically the main causes of downfall in the English language. However, it is not too late to fix this, there are numerous ways to get our message across in a paper as a writer and it involves using the simplest words to explain conrete thoughts in our minds and not ready made phrases and unrelated metaphors.

After reading this paper, it made me realize how much I have been into this same loop hole of never ending explanation without ever getting to the point just to be able to impress readers with jargon words which are meaningless. With this help and new information I hope I will be able to avoid these common mistakes created by political writings to further improve my convey in thoughts.

Reading Response 5: "YES/ NO/ OKAY, BUT" Three Ways to Respond

For this reading, it clearly explains the development of a stance in an argumentative essay. In order to create a strong stance, we need to basically respond in a certain manner, and that is by using the three different ways of responding to an issue, which are disagreeing, agreeing or agreeing and disagreeing at the same time. This may sound easy, but in order to create a strong stance it needs to be explained or proven otherwise.

For instance when disagreeing, it is important to not only explain and back it up with facts but also able to convince readers with your own statements and reasoning by making it very obvious to the reader. However by agreeing, it is important to point out something that the facts that you used probably forgot or failed to mention. The tricky part comes to when you have to disagree and agree at the same time because it is hard to not contradict yourself when coming up with this stance.

These methods are very important and will help me a lot in introducing my stance in my argumentative paper because it creates a more complex argument that separates it to the common thinking and view of that issue.

Ploitics and the English Language

In George Orwell's essay on, "Politics and the English Language", Orwell strongly explains and criticizes the distortion of our modern English language, as well as the destructive influences that politics has continued to have on the writing process. Orwell disputes the fact that over time our use of descriptive and accurate language has declined immensely. As a result, the composition of writing begins to lack more and more truth. This is due to political and economic causes, which in time may end up becoming effects, or visa versa. Not only is this concealing many political problems, but it creates a disguise for thought, especially among those who do not know the truth. We are unaware of what is actually going on, so therefore, our characterization, our language, is inevitably lost. We begin to use "foolish" language that represents our "foolish" thoughts. Writing becomes pointless, vague, and misinterpreted. The point of views that others may have, can in no way, be expressed properly. We do not understand our thoughts, they become unclear and concealed, so therefore we are unable to express our feelings accurately.

The point of George Orwell's essay, "Politics and the English Language", is to get rid of these "foolish ways" and become one with our thoughts. Our thoughts can guide or imagination, as well as our form of communication.

"Yes/No/Okay, But"

The reading “Yes/No/Okay, But” has made me think about how to correctly construct a Argument paper. There was allot of good points in this reading. The first I would say would be that for every topic there is a argument against it and the argument against it also has an argument against it. I like this because we all have opinions and have to build off each others thoughts to make are own thoughts. This process can be very can be difficult because you might ague against a source that you are using as a credited source in you paper. So you have to except other peoples opinions and analyze them very accurately. Then you respond with the understanding of there view and argue against it with a opposing view while not destroying the credibility of any of the sources. The second point I want to touch on is all of the templates that show how to “twist it“ and the “duh“ move. I can come back to theses in the future if I find myself struggling with disagreeing and agreeing in my paper.

Politics and the English Language

After reading George Orwell’s Politics and the English Language it makes me remember the Navy. I was in the navy for four years during that time I saw this type of writing and speeches all the time. The mono tone of lies that the higher ups tell all the blue collar workers. I chose a quote that sums up what I am saying. “When one watches some tired hack on the platform mechanically repeating the familiar phrases-bestial, atrocities, iron heel, bloodstained tyranny, free peoples of the world, stand shoulder to shoulder- one often has a curious feeling that one is not watching a live human being but some kind of dummy”(Orwell 6). I remember when the vice president came to the base in Norfolk, Virginia and he gave a speech on one of the carriers. It was like a robot talking he even sounded like a robot. I thought it would be pretty interesting listening to his speech. It wasn’t though it was a horrible speech and the reason is that he had no sincerity to it he was just reading some crap off a piece of paper. All of us sailors don’t want to here a bunch of back and forth arguments that make no since not to mention if you ask a question it will be answered with about five pages of bullshit and still not answer the question that you asked. This happens all over in the navy actually the whole time I was serving my country. I suppose that it has to be this way because when it comes to the military you just don’t know what might happen and the answers your given one day can completely change from the next. This reading will help me on my unit 3 paper in getting to the point and not just going on and on with a bunch of nonsense when you could simply just sum it up in a sentence or two.

They Say, I Say: Three ways to Respond

The reading titled, "Yes/No/Okay, But", meticulously describes the three most common ways to respond in an arument paper. These primary responses are illustrated through the acts of agreeing, disagreeing, and a mixture of both. No matter what kind of stance you decide to take, for, against, or both, it is extremely important to declare your position as soon as possible. This will allow the audience to become fully aware of your point of view, as well as your personal reasons for your particular opinion. The audience will reach a point of appreciation for you as a writer, as well as your purpose.

It is easy to agree, but the act of agreeing can get a bit boring, especially if you are just repeating the views you agree with. Not only is it essential to get through to your audience in a clear and persuasive way, but it is also important to have flavor throughout your paper. In other words, in order to characterize your own opinion on a particular matter there must be a sense of something new, something different, something someone has never touched on or brought to the surface. For example, a new way of looking at the problem or in many cases, how to fix it. In any argument paper, the act of agreeing results in some sort of dispute resulting from opinion. The point is, state your opinion and why, and then use your evidence to creatively relay your message/central point.

In order to disagree fully, it is crucial to support your opinion through a variety of reasons why. There is more to it than just stating the fact that you do not agree. Give yourself something to contribute, give the audience a reason to hear your side. The author portrays this act of contribution through the "duh" and "twist it" moves. In other words, it is helpful to take a step back and not necessairily disagree entirely with your position. It is beneficial to make a personal assumption on the point of view. This will add a new idea or a new way of looking at whatever you are disagreeing on.

The act of agreeing and disagreeing at the same time adds a whole new feel to an argument paper. this allows the audience to agree OR disagree. The audience can make up their own opinion on the topic, without feeling obligated to strictly agree or disagree. This adds flexability and complexity to an argument paper.

This reading has opened my eyes to a variety of ways to respond in an argument paper. Personally, I have always thought that you either had to agree completely, or disagree completely. I had no idea that you could combine both views and, in the process, create a a flexible basis for the audience. After completing this reading, I am fully aware of the three most beneficial ways to respond in an argument paper, as well as the importance of analyzing and supporting. I am excited to begin using what I have learned throughout this reading, towards my essay.

Argument Essay

In the E-Text module, titled "Argument Essay", the author clearly illustrates the the primary components that make up an ethical argument paper. It is important to keep an open mind throughout the research process. In order to provide a convincing argument paper, you must become aware of every point of view that topic may have. Research. Not only will this enlighten you with information that you may not have known, but it will help you develop and strengthen your own personal stance on the topic. It is easier to defend your opinion when you know what you are talking about. In other words, it is extremely important to establish a clear and precise position while supporting this particular viewpoint to the utter most. Without support, an argument will not suffice.

After completing my community analysis, I am fully aware of how critical and beneficial the research process can be, especially for Unit 3. With the help of facts, evidence, and statistics, it will make it easier to get my point across and effectively persuade my audience. The more scholarly-based information I use to "back up" my point of view, the more intellectuality i will add to my argument, allowing my attitude on a particular topic to push through to the surface. I am excited to research more about the controversies that my community (online gambling) deals with on a regular basis. If I can unravel my purpose for writing, as well as my purpose for arguing, I will be able to convince my audience of my opinion.

Source:
Fidelie, Laura. "Internet Gambling: Innocent activity or Cybercrime?" International Journal of
Cyber Criminology 3.1 (2009): 476-491. Wev. 14 March 2011.

"Argument Essay"

The Argument section in the E-textbook has opened up different ways to go about researching for a Argument paper. I never saw that there was a pro/con on the CQ-researcher. This will help me find arguments either against or for the tattoo sub-culture. I found more hits on the tattoo sub-culture on the proquest. I will definitely use the editorials to help find some good arguments within the tattoo culture. I found one editorial, “FORMERLY RESERVED FOR SAILORS AND BIKERS, TATTOOS NOW ARE MAINSTREAM; [FIVE STAR LIFT Edition]”(Tracey). I liked this because it talks about the change in the tattoo scene from rebellion to mainstream. There is a lot of debate in this question so it will be very useful in the unit-3 paper.


Tracey Bruce Special To The Post-Dispatch. "FORMERLY RESERVED FOR SAILORS AND BIKERS, TATTOOS NOW ARE MAINSTREAM :[FIVE STAR LIFT Edition]. " St. Louis Post - Dispatch 7 Aug. 2000,ProQuest Central, ProQuest. Web. 14 Mar. 2011.

Reading Response 4: Argumentative Essay

In my opinion, the e-text on argumentative essay does a very good job in making a point how important facts, evidence and statistics are to prove your argument and solidify your stance. In an argumentative essay it is very important to be able to convince the reader and show reasons why you are right and why others are wrong. Also, it is important to look at different opinions on a topic and its angles of view in order to have a better understanding on the stance before actually arguing about it. These three methods in looking for argumentative source, will be very helpful in unit 3 because it tells how other writers approach or what strategies were used to write an argumentative paper. By using opposing viewpoint search method on the library catalog I was able to find two good books regarding opposing viewpoints on video games which both talks about both sides of the picture on various topics.

Hamilton, Jill. Video Games. Farmington Hills, MI: Greenhaven, 2011. Print.

Willis, Laurie. Video Games. Detroit: Greenhaven, 2010. Print.

Reading Response 3: Don't Be A Hit-And-Run Quoter

The author Susan Bordo makes a very important point in inserting or using a quotation into an essay and proving our point that we are trying to explain; and that point is basically how to properly use a quotation by properly introducing it, and explaining what it meant. In other words, "To adequately frame a quotation, you need to insert it into what we like to call a "quotation sandwich," with the statement introducing it serving as the top slice of bread and the explanation following it serving as the bottom slice" (Bordo 42). I believe this is very useful point, especially in my community analysis essay in order not to confuse my readers and disrupt the flow of the essay.

They Say, I say: "Hit and Run Quoting"

The article on, "Hit and Run Quoting", primarily focuses on the beneficial process of "framing" a quotation. The author indicates this process through examples within Susan Bordo's own research essay on women and dieting. The author points out instances in Bordo's essay where she inserts a "quotation sandwich". In other words, the author is trying to demonstrate to us (the audience) that in order to produce a strong and declarative quote, we need to introduce, explain and support the quotation. By doing this it will allow you to communicate to your own audience. You will be able to adequately express the purpose of this particular quote and back up the quote with what you believe it says. This adds depth to your quotations and it aids immensely to your essay.

This article stresses the fact that quotes should not be thrown into the text, especially without introducing or explaining them. This leaves room for questions the audience may start to ask themselves, and that leaves the audience confused. It is better to give more explanation than to not give enough. By supporting the author and their central message it will help smooth out the contents of your essay

Right now we are in the process of creating our own research papers, more specifically our community analysis. This article really helped clear the confusions I was having about how to properly insert quotations into my research paper. As a writer, I have learned how to set up my quotations by introducing the author and his/her purpose and how to back them up by explaining and integrating my own take on it. I am excited to use what I have learned from this reading towards my finished product.

Don’t Be A Hit And Run Quoter

James Hungerford
Christy Vance
English 102
February 28, 2011
Don’t Be A Hit And Run Quoter
This Essay takes you through a part of Susan Bordo’s Essay. The main idea focuses on the part of Susan’s Essay when she introduces and inserts a direct quote into her writing. Two different drafts where used when introducing this quote into Susan’s writing. The first failed to explain the quote well enough to the reader Susan just dropped the quote in her story but didn’t tell us any information about the quote or even who it belonged to. The second draft was much better and took time to introduce the quote by explaining the quote and why she used it.
I liked this reading because of all the quotes I am going to be using in my Community analysis paper. This will help me transition my quotes into my essay by giving me some type of template to work with.

Source Analysis

Anderson, Mark. Personal Interview. 17 February 2011.

-I wanted to provide my audience with a variety of individuals (ranging in age) who gamble online to show that there are a variety of people who take part in this community. Mark has been playing online poker for awhile now and he has almost mastered the art of playing. He reveals the challenges of internet gambling and how consuming it can become over time. Mark makes it clear that it can get out of hand sometime and it is extremely addicting, but that is only one side of it. This does not apply to every person. I want to show the contrasts.

Griffiths, D. Mark and Jonathan Parke. “The Social Impact of Internet Gambling.” Nottingham Trent University. Sage Publications, 2002. Web 02 February 2011.

-Every community is, in some way or another, influenced by society and that alone has a significant part in shaping those characteristics that make up a particular subculture. I chose this article to supply my audience with a better understanding of the social impacts that are linked to internet gambling. This article examines the general effects of internet gambling, such as the advances in technology and the rapid increase in addiction. This source will add a scholarly base for my research essay and the information I chose to use to will help me exploit my community and reveal their underlying causes and effects.

Hendrickson, Chase. Personal Interview. 12 February 2011.

-It was nice to observe this community through someone who is a big part of my life, my brother Chase. Chase is an online gambler himself and he was more than willing to let me in on a few personal facts. I have acquired a large amount of information on why my brother chooses to play so much as well as why he personally chooses to gamble online instead of at a ground-based setting. Chase explained that, “It is more convenient to play poker online, I can play whenever I want and wherever I want”(Hendrickson). I'm hoping that with further research and observations (field notes) I will be able to become aware of more of the conveniences and personal benefits that internet gambling has to offer the online world.

Hendrickson, Ethan. Personal Interview. 03 February 2011.

-My brother Ethan is an online gambler as well, but he plays a limited amount each week. Unlike my other brother, Chase, Ethan does not spend as much time gambling online. In other words, he only plays online poker when he has the time to, which is as sporadic as once or twice a week, even if that. Ethan is a full time student as well as a banker, and it is evident that he chooses to play poker lastly out of everything else occupying his life right now. I chose to interview my brother Ethan because he represents a part of the internet gambling community; those who play to receive the happiness and rewards of a day off.

Wood, Robert T., and Robert J. Williams. “Internet Gambling: Past, Present, and Future.” Research and Measurement Issues in Gambling Studies. University of Lethbridge, 2007. Web. 04 February. 2011

-This scholarly article reveals the history of internet gambling, how much it has advanced over recent years, and where it will eventually end up in the future. It states the facts of internet gambling and those primary issues of internet gambling that are significant and rising. Many individuals view internet gambling as negative, as if it is only hurting the U.S economy, but there is very little information informing us why people feel this way. I would like to communicate the actual amount of individuals that gamble online and convey the positive and negative effects this has on the U.S economy as well as those individuals that are playing.

Wood, Robert T., and et al. “Why do Internet Gamblers prefer online instead of land-basedvenues?". Journal of Gambling Issues. 20: 235-252. University of Lethridge. Elsevier, 2007. Web. 04 February 2011

-It is difficult to make an assumption on why internet gamblers chose to play online rather than in person. This article brings many of these assumptions at rest. Online gambling is prefered over land based venues because of the conviences, safety, and comfort internet gambling offers. Many individuals do no realize this, and I want to get that across to my audience. Gambling can be a hobby, not an addiction, and many people can chose to play online because it is less of an influence than gambling in a casino. You are not receiving those feelings of anxiety and pressure. You are able to control your amount of play time, as well as control the amount of money you are putting in to the pot.

The American Man at Age Ten

In Susan Orlean's essay, “The American Man at Age Ten”, the profile, lifestyle, and habits of a ten year old boy, Colin Duffy, are flawlessly observed and analyzed. Orlean provides us with a descriptive analysis of Colin Duffy's personal experiences, obstacles, and common ways of life, all of which take part in shaping his character immensely. She creates a comfortable environment with Colin, as well as his, family, friends and teachers. She takes the time to get to know the subject and his characteristics allowing the interviews to unravel naturally. Whether it being his choice of friends, hobbies, and/or mission in life, the depiction of culture, particularly in younger males, is expressed and examined.

Susan Orlean spends many hours interviewing and interacting with Colin's friends (parents), family members and school teachers, revealing the effects these individuals have on Colin himself. She provides the readers with specific examples of Colin's favorite places to hangout with his friends, such as Danny's Pizzeria, where Colin spends most of his free time. Colin asserts that, “At Danny's, you will find pizza, candy, Nintendo, and very few girls”(Orlean 258). This quote communicates Colin's most valued aspects of his life and what he views as most significant and accustomed to him, considering he is only ten years old. Orlean dedicated many hours and weeks to observing Colin's school, Montclair, as well as his daily activities that happened at home. The majority of activities that Colin took part in were observed at home, school, and Danny's Pizzeria, where Colin spent the bulk of his time.

Personally, I believe that the focusing question of this essay was clear and precise: What components of culture shape ourselves as individuals, particularly when we are young and easily influenced. Susan Orlean was able to expose those characteristics that have a an influence on children and provides us with the knowledge that these aspects inevitably construct our culture. Susan Orlean researched these components of characterization through the experiences of a particular ten year old boy, Colin Duffy. I think that she used Colin to represent many young children experiencing the same thing. This is the prime time for experience, adventure, and identity. Susan Orlean did a phenomenal job a analyzing this young boy and relating the information she acquired over time towards a bigger picture. At the age of ten we are easily influenced by those around us, including our families, friends, and social settings, all of which have an extreme affect on on character. Whether we want these influences to effect us or not, they represent our culture and what values/customs make us who we are.

The Source Analysis

Ky, Heng. Personal Interview. February 18, 2011.

He has a very wide background and experience in playing different genres of video games, offline and online. Also, started playing at a very young age of 6 and is still very active in various consoles ranging from Xbox, PS3 and computer. Besides that he is also widely surrounded by other video gamers that has a big influence in him being a video gamer. Basically, he has good knowledge about video gamers and their culture, and also teaching me first hand tips and tricks about how they operate.

Shaw, Adrienne. "What Is Video Game Culture? Cultural Studies and Game Studies." Games and Culture 5 (2010): 403-24. Print.

Basically, this journal has a very in depth study about video gamer and their culture. Also, how this culture has been defined by communities surrounding them and their stereotypes. Since, I am doing an ethnography of video gamers within my own perspective of observations, interviews and online research, having perspective from another person will help me see both or a different side of the picture.

Mills, Charlie. Living With-- a Gamer. New York: Red Rock, 2009. Print.

This is a very good book describing a video gamers day to day life and brings you into a video gamers world, their language that they used to communicate within their community, how or what they wear, how to talk and interact with them. With this information, I would be able to capture their every move so to speak, and also prove that they differ from society.

Rossignol, Jim. This Gaming Life: Travels in Three Cities. Ann Arbor: University of Michigan, 2008. Print.

This is an author who writes about something which he himself experienced, which in this case gaming life where he says that it is not the negative stereotype that other communities suggest it is. Also the author talks about how he was once not a video gamer but he turned into a video gamer because of the video games. His story of his life has so much relation with my focus in the video gaming community, and his story will allow me to insinuate this community which is so badly viewed.

Maniwaring, Frank. "How Video Games Affect Our Lives - by Frank Mainwaring - Helium." Helium: Video Game Culture & Community. 8 Mar. 2007. Web. 21 Feb. 2011.

The author here talks about what a video gamer expects to be viewed as when that person turns into a video gamer, the effects of games on people, and the effects of society on the video gamer sub-community. Also, beneficial advantages of being a video gamer such a social networking of their own group. This article let me realize that there is always pros and cons to a culture, even though if the society does not agree with it.

Joeld. "The Hardcore Video Gamer's Lifestyle - Is It Worth It?" Associated Content from Yahoo! - Associatedcontent.com. 13 Oct. 2010. Web. 21 Feb. 2011.

This article basically define the differences between a regular video gamer and a hardcore video gamer which both of them are totally different. What are the criteria that defines these two? and how does a video gamer goes to that next level? These questions are answered in this article and will guide me into differentiating and be more detail in describing my community.

Reading Response 2: Further Response on The American Man at Age Ten

Basically what the author is trying to say is how Colin is stuck in the middle of life when it comes to behaving like a kid and also thinking like an adult. I think it could be described best through a passage in the essay, "The collision in his mind of what he understands, what he hears, what he figures out, what popular culture pours into him, what he knows, what he pretends to know, and what he imagines, makes an interesting mess. The mess often has the for of what he will probably think like when he is a grown man, but the content of what he is like as a little boy" (Orlean 256).

The main artifacts that drew out the main idea were when Colin was talking about money and it's importance and value. Colin has incredible knowledge, close to an adult, on to how much a lawyer makes and also how much the lottery was worth. This shows how much adult knowledge he knows as a ten year old. However, he shows that he is still a kid by having a great obsession over Nintendo and Street Fighter, where it is mentioned that, "At Danny's, you will find Pizza, candy, Nintendo, and a very few girls. To a 10-year-old boy, it is the most beautiful place in the world" (Orlean 258).

I think Susan Orlean did a very thorough observation on Colin's environment because she was very descriptive in her observation on where Colin always goes to every week and these places were his classroom at Montclair Cooperative School and his hangout spot with his best friend Japeth at Danny's pizzeria. In other words, she managed to include and capture the emotion, tension and view of that moment she spent with Colin. The fifth-grade classroom is on the top floor, under the dormers, which gives the room the eccentric shape and closeness of an attic. It is rather an informal environment (Orlean 257). This manage to capture the moment and it seems that she probably stayed and observed Colin through out the entire school day because she was walking with him on the way home and even managed to quiz him about his world views (Orlean 258). However, I would say that she only managed to go to school with him twice or three times. The other place of observation was at Danny's pizzeria where they went with Japeth after class was dismissed (Orlean 257).

The other method of field work was done by interview and it was mainly done on Colin and a little bit on the father. The interview with Colin was about biggest advantage to adulthood, general opinions about which is better, and others. As for the father, Susan asked about his father's observations on Colin's day to day living. Basically, I think that when Susan did her interview with Colin and the father, her focusing question was what is America's view of a normal boy in this age and time because with modernization and technology growing, the knowledge and associating oneself with video game, sex education, money and other things at a very young age is becoming more and more common.

Source Analysis

James Hungerford
Christy Vance
English 102
February 21, 2011
Source Analysis


Chafkin, Max. "KING INK. (Cover story)." Inc 29.11 (2007): 98-108. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 21 Feb. 2011.

I choose this Article because it is about a extremely successful tattoo artist Mario Barth. He owns 4 tattoo parlors in northern New Jersey. Barth is also a extremely gifted artist when I comes to giving tattoos. Some of his clients where Lenny Kravitz, Ja Rule, and members of my chemical Romance and Diehl and Jason Kidd. This will give me some insight on owning a business while also being an artist. This is exactly what I want to find out, the artists opinion and this article is just that.

Irwin, Katherine. "SAINTS AND SINNERS: ELITE TATTOO COLLECTORS AND TATTOOISTS AS POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE DEVIANTS." Sociological Spe ctrum 23.1 (2003): 27. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 21 Feb. 2011.

This article tries to separate people into different categories within the tattoo subculture. I want to use this to find out exactly what the different categories are that people are labeled into. I also picked this article because it talks about the discrimination that this subculture is subjected to. I plan to touch on this issue in my essay.

Kosut, Mary. "An Ironic Fad: The Commodification and Consumption of Tattoos." Journal of Popular Culture 39.6 (2006): 1035-1048. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 21 Feb. 2011.

Mary talks about how the tattoo society has became mainstream. Every body is getting them Celebrities, Athletes. This is good because it portrays a positive image for all Americans. This article will really let me hone in on the tattoo subculture in the media and how it has been portrayed over several years.

Siorat, Cyril. "The Art of Pain." Fashion Theory: The Journal of Dress, Body & Culture 10.3 (2006): 367-380. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 21 Feb. 2011.

Cyril is a Anthropology professor in London. He is going deep into the relation ship with pain and a tattoo. I like this because I have heard a lot of people say that its painful but addicting. So this will help me better understand the human relation ship with pain and why we like it.


"Tattoo you." Economist 387.8581 (2008): 48. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 21 Feb. 2011.

Although this essay is really short I liked it because it has some cold hard statistics about tattoos. It also talks about how many tattoo shops have opened in New York. This shows me the popularity of tattoos is rising and becoming the norm instead of being abnormal.

Gilchrist, Stephen. personal interview. February 21, 2011.

Well I have not interviewed Stephen yet but I plan to go to the shop wear he works tomorrow to interview him. I talked with somebody working today and he said that Stephen would most likely be open to talk to me. He works at Imperial which I have heard is a pretty good shop. I hope to get a lot of information from him I am pretty excited about it.

Questins

James Hungerford
Christy Vance
English 102
February 21, 2011
The American Man at Age Ten Questions
Well I think that the main point that Susan is trying to say is that what happens and what people hear as kids can stick with them throughout there whole life. Humans can be conditioned when there young they are very vulnerable. I have a quote from the essay that really expresses this. “The collision in his mind of what he understands, what he hears, what he figures out, what popular culture pours into him, what he knows, what he pretends to know, and what he imagines, makes an interesting mess. The mess often has the form of what he will probably think like when he is a grown man, but the content of what he is like as a little boy” (Orlean 256). I agree with this not to say people cannot change and be different from there past environments but the influences that are friends, family and media are there everyday and you just become influenced by it without even realizing it.
Some Artifacts that stuck out to me that really brings home this idea that I have mentioned above is when Susan quizzes Colin about world views. “Who’s the coolest person in the world?” “Morgan Freeman.” “What is the best sport?” “Football”(Orlean 258). This shows you his view is of a typical 10 year old. The answer’s he provides is what he has learned from other people or media he might not even understand or like football but it is what he sees his dad watching or friends talking about the big game. This definitely shows you the influence of are environment when you just ask a ten year old about his world views.
Susan Went to the Montclair Cooperative school and several other places where Colin and his friends would hang out and did extensive observations about everything going on around her especially if it involved Colin. Susan interviewed Colin buy asking him random questions about his life. The big question in the essay seems to be does are child hood environment effect how we portray the world and what we expect from it. I say this because it seems she just emphasizes this buy giving us all this information about Colin’s views on life.

American man at age ten

In the article “The American Man at Age Ten”, author Susan Orlean presents a delightful ethnography of a young man and the struggles of his demographic.  In the article she gently asserts that Colin, the subject, is indeed a man.  Even though he is young and the context of his trials differs from our own, he suffers through trials of a similar nature.  From choosing a career in the class (258), working through conflicts with others (259), to woman troubles (260), Orlean describes Colin’s life, which seems to be a wonderful parody of my own.

While her argument is on behalf of Colin, I would say that this story functions as a strong example for incorporating interviews and observation into a well developed essay.  Her introduction was also wonderfully clever, I enjoy how she uses the full gamut of quotes describe to us what Colin’s life would look like if was an adult with his current values.  She then explains to us who  the main character is and how this initial story was derived from her various interactions with him.

This essay works as a wonderful example for how to incorporate interviews and observation into our own paper.  She also utilizes a unique style of interview, by allowing Colin and his friend to dialog with each other, Orlean is given access to inner working of a ten year old boy.  I feel like because she has detached herself from the “interview” she is able to observe Colin in a more natural state, and attain an Emic perspective.

The quality of content that Orlean was able to observe came not only from her preparation, but also from her willingness to allow situations to unfold naturally and her skill at writing down each detail of event and conversation.  It is my assumption that this process is then more enjoyable for both the interviewer as well as the one being interviewed.

The American Man at Age Ten Response

After reading, "The American Man at Age Ten", by Susan Orlean, I was taken back by the central point of this reading. At first, I was unsure of what the writer was trying to get across to her audience, including myself, but after completing the reading and analyzing the research providiedthroughout this piece, I was able to understand the true purpose of this essay. Collin Buffy is the focus of this essay, obviously, but this ten year old boy speaks for many other individuasl in this world. Susan Orlean characterizes Collin's sense of thought as chaotic and intense, "The collision in his mind of what he understands, what he hears, what he figures out, what popular culture pours into him, what he knows, what he pretends to know, and what he imagines, makes an interesting mess"(Orlean 256). Collin Duffy is only ten years old, but he is knowledeable of many aspects of life that children at that age would never think about, such as money. Money was not seen as a problem for Collin's parents, but Collin still knew a lot about money. I do not know for sure if Collin Duffy has any health or pyschological problems, but that is beside the focus of this essay. His imagination is endless and it is very sigificant to what is important and valued to him as an individual; imagination, exploration, and a strong sense of custom/value. This may be a parental influence upon Collin. Susan Orlean is trying to inform the audience that Collin Duffy has the capability to see the world for how it really is, but he is still young, naive, and making his own sense out of the world. Collin sets goals and dreams of what he hopes he will eventually achieve in later life, but he does not have a negative attitude towards these goals even if they may change in the future. He is not worried about the future, he is excited and may be a little obsessive to move forward and live life. Collin Duffy is a very unique individual and he is more than willing to allow himself to unravel positively, without stress, and as the true individual he is.

"The American Man at Age Ten", is obviously a researh essay, based on the observations and lifetyle of Collin Duffy, an extremely different, but unique ten year old boy. Right now we are working on the composition of our own researh essays, so it was very helpful to see how Susan Orlean incorporated her own observaions and question in to the fina product. She approaches this individual, Collin Duffy, very politely and openly, as how it should be done. She does not judge Collin even though he may act differently than other children his age. This is the perfect way to conduct a reseah essay, with an open mind. If you are open and almost absent in their environment, then that will allow you, as the writer, the observer, to uncover exactly what you need/want to understand from that particular community; how and why they act and do the thngs thay do.

I have learned more than I could have ever imagined from this essay as well as the E-text modules. I was not expecting for these examples of research to strick me an stick as hard and long as they did. I am impressed by Susan Orlean and how she conducted her research, in a very respectable way, that every individual being interviewed would value and appreciate. The E-text modules actually provided a perfect example of how an interview should be conducted. It is important to: thoroughly choose the questions you ask, provide feedback, show you are listening and observing their community to reveal their choice of lifestyle/habits. It is also important to write down your observations and analyze what you think about the answers that were given. It is hard to observe a community for how it really is, but if you take the time to get comfortable with that community and be an active, respectable listener while they are revealing their reasons why, you will receive far more out of the interview than you thought.

Reading Response 1: The American Men at Age Ten

The American Man at Age Ten, is a very good example of an essay that was written through interview and a very detailed observation since there were no bibliography or work cited attached. He is a handsome kid. He has broad forehead, dark eyes with dense lashes, and a sharp, dimply smile (Orlean 255). By reading those few lines, made you feel that you have seen this boy called Colin before. I think that the writer did a very good job in describing every single detail during that specific time and place, where Susan made you see the world through a very odd 10 year old boy eyes and sometimes even made you feel how it was to be a kid again, where everything was so simple. But at ten he is still convinced that the best thing about being married will be that he will be allowed to sleep in his clothes (Orlean 256). That is as simple as it could get.

Although this essay is more like a biography of Colin, but because of the in depth descriptions of his everyday life, made it more interesting more like an adventure, not only do you know his every characteristics, likes and dislikes or even what he thinks about girls at his age, the writer made you get to know Colin not by his facts but by his everyday life experience, which I think is a very good approach. For example, "It happen to be Colin's first day in fifth grade. Before class began there was a lot of horsing around.." (Orlean 257).

At first I was a little puzzled by the title, but after reading a few paragraphs it all came clearly, Colin was not your average ten year old kid, although he still has some of a kid characteristics, he views things very differently in terms of subject matter. "The best magazine are Nintendo Power, because they tell you how to do the secret moves in video games, and also Mad Magazine and Money Guide-I really like that one" (Orlean 262). It is obvious that he is still a kid but what 10 year old reads Money Guide? That would be a first for me.

However, I felt that the writer did not properly conclude the essay, in such a way that I was asking myself, "Was that the ending?" or trying to flip the page looking for more. It was a very odd way to end the essay, also after reading the essay a few times, it seems that the essay did not progress into another stage or it was like a only a single note was played.

The American Man at Age ten

James Hungerford
Christy Vance
English 102
February 13, 2011

The American Man at Age ten Response
Susan studies a ten year old boy Colin Duffy. Susan explains what Colin expects and wants from life. Meaning his job and career as a typical ten year old. “Colin is in fifth grade. He is a good student. He plans to go to college, to a place he says is called Oklahoma City State College University”(Orleans 255). This seems like a lot for a ten year old to think about but I agree that it seems to be pretty accurate. I believe kids are growing up faster and faster in America. I like when Susan starts to talk about the boys changing and are starting to like girls or their at least interested in them. “You want to know how to tell if a girl likes you?” Japeth said. “She’ll act really mean to you. That’s a sure sign. I don’t know why they do it, but it’s always a sure sign. It gets your attention”(Orlean 260). I have a little brother that is ten years old and he is going through this stage and I hear him talking with his friends like they do in this essay and it really does make me laugh how accurate it is. There is though a difference in some ten year old boys that don’t have a life like this so there thoughts might be significantly different in there way of thinking due to there environment which Susan does address. “”The rest of the town seems to consist of parks and playing fields and sidewalks and backyards - in other words, it is a far cry from South-Central Los Angeles and from Bedford-Stuyvesant and other, grimmer parts of the country where a very different 10-year-old American man is growing up”(Orlean 255). This shows that she is not bias and understands that this doesn’t apply to everyone but it’s a good average. This story is useful because of the unit 2 paper. It helps me lay out a paper using observation while mixing other peoples conversations into my paper. I don’t think this essay was very clear in what its saying. Susan goes on and on about what a ten year old boy does throughout the day and his dreams and aspirations. The problem is she is talking for all American ten year olds but she only observed one school and it was a private school. I think she should of went to multiple schools in order to make her essay stronger. I also was not to clear on the exact message Susan was trying to express to the reader, she could of made a better conclusion to put out exactly what she was trying to say.

Reading Response 1: E-text "field research"

For the e-text, the interviewer clearly shows and demonstrates how much more information we could obtain by simply asking questions in more of a subjective manner compared to objective. In other words, the interviewer tries to make the interview more sociable, so that the interviewee has the freedom to express more instead of just answering yes or no, because the more an interviewee is able to express themselves, the more the question will be answered in various aspects. Also the information that were obtained were more colorful, in ways that they the interviewee might answer or bring up other important information that never crossed your mind to ask.

The e-text also mentioned about observation, which I think is very important in doing a field research. I think that, every little observation taken down to be incorporated into the essay will make an essay even more interesting, because by describing every single detail creates an ability to bring the reader back to that situation you have experienced and see, feel, or even touch what you did. Facts obtained from observation are as important as how we felt, noticed or experienced which makes a field research even more successful.

Since unit 2 heavily relies on interviewing and observations, I believe that this e-text is a very important tool in helping me in my research paper. Especially the double entry note taking technique which differentiate between facts and how I think or feel. This e-text also gave me ideas about how to form questions and gave me an alternative method in doing research for my paper.

E-text: field research

The speaker in the first two videos is demonstrating the difference of two interview processes, an open format vs a closed format.  Both styles are controlled by the interviewer, each have their own strengths, however, for the purpose of this class we will see that the open style format is preferable.

In the first video, she presents a closed format interview.  The pace is established initially by jumping straight into the questions, neglecting to make acquaintance and develop an initial relationship.  Secondly, the nature of the questions asked are short answer or yes/no, preventing the interviewee from deviating on a tangent.  Thirdly, the questions are all predetermined.  This closed format interview is useful for gaining quantifiable data, much like a survey.  However, little room is left for the creative expression of the interviewee to respond.  This method does have its functions, but due to the nature of our assignment, we will receive a lot more value from an open format.

From the beginning, an open format interview engages the interviewee.  First off, much like the closed format, you will come prepared with a set of questions.  The difference though, by asking open ended questions, you are showing a willingness to deviate from the original questions.  Write down key points, as you go, but continue to make eye contact and remain connected with the interviewee.  Using this method will likely give you more usable content and be more enjoyable.  Also, the person you interview will often lead you to ask questions that had not previously been though about.

Because I have had little involvement in the homeschool community, I don't know the right questions to ask.  So going into an interview with a willingness to engage and learn from the interviewee will likely produce the type of content that will both grow my knowledge and shape my convictions on the topic.

E-text Field Research

The first two videos that I watched where about the differences in effective and not effective interviews. I agree that being friendly and sharing why your writing this paper and just getting to know each other through the interview will allow the person your interviewing to open up more and that is when you get the most important information. Coming into an interview acting like a robot just firing off questions just does not seem like a very effective way of accomplishing a good interview. This should help me in the unit 2 Community paper because i am gong to go to three different tattoo shops and interview the tattoo artist. This has made me think about how i am going to prepare for my interview. What i have learned the most is that i should go there be myself and just kind of go with the flow share some information about myself and what my paper is about and just break the ice.The third video that we watched had to do with observation. I liked the Double entry note taking that was talked about. I will definitely use this techniqe when i am observing a place. I think it allows you to just catch every aspect of what is going on around you which is very important for making any paper more in depth and interesting.